Monday, September 13, 2010

Ouch, my ego hurts!

Hey guys!

I have a confession to make. A big one. One that made even me stop and think. I, Jessica Ward, am not good at everything. I know, I know its a lot to take in all at once. Ill give you a moment to let it sink in......................
Alright so that's not even the end, not only am I not good at everything, I'm actually REALLY bad at something. Something that I cant really afford to be bad at. Something necessary and needed, especially at this stage of my life. Well *deep breath* here it is...I am bad at math. Like, REALLY bad at math...
I've always known numbers were my downfall, to this day I'm convinced the only reason I passed grade 12 math was because my teacher saw my other grades and decided keeping me back for one class was unfair. I mean, she handed me my report card saying "you owe me one"...  Anyways, I thought I was done with math, that is until I decided to go back to school to get a second degree. A second science degree that involves that beautiful subject math. Not only calculus and stats, but also lots of wonderful chemistry equations! Now I know sarcasm does not always translate well through the written word so let me be clear here. Those nice adjectives i just used to describe math...sarcasm. Hardcore sarcasm

If you think of me as a smart woman (ie if you are my father), stop reading here because it's about to get worse. Okay, so I realized I needed to brush up on some of my math skills and did what any person my age would, looked it up on youtube. I started off with basic calculus tutoring, easy enough right? Grade 12 math is nothing a person with a BSc can't handle. Wrong. I was lost within the 1st two minute introduction. You see where this is going?! I had to go back to basic grade 8 math! I am hanging my head in shame right now. As a university student, a Mcgill university student, I'm supposed to be smart! My ego is still throbbing in pain thinking about sitting in my room watching a basic algebra tutorial so I could do my chemistry assignment.
My brain and numbers are not definitely not on speaking terms. Which leaves me playing referee using the following persuasion techniques:
ME: "c'mon brain, I know math has wronged you in the past but if you can learn to get along it will be very beneficial for you! I guarantee"
BRAIN: "I dunno, I'm still hurt from how he made me feel last time we hung out. Has he changed?"
ME: "No...math will always be the same guy. He stands firm in his ways..."

At which point Math usually interrupts letting my brain know ...
"c'mon baby, you'll love hanging out again! I'm always hard for you AND I'll keep you up all night long!"

Lucky for math my brain responds strongly to mental foreplay and she has decided to give him another go! It all starts tomorrow. Wish us luck, breaking up and getting back together has never really worked for us before...

xoxo Jessie

Monday, September 6, 2010

Transit Etiquette

Hey all,

So Ive been in Montreal for 2 years now, and during this time I have taken my fair share of public transit. In this time I have realized how important "transit etiquette"is. I like to think I have very good transit etiquette, but I wish I could say the same for the most-part of my fellow Montrealers... It would be easy for me to rant about this for the entire afternoon, just ask my poor boyfriend who hears about it everyday (he's actually the one who suggested I write a blog about it. Maybe he's hoping this will get it out of my system for good).

I have decided to narrow down my little vent to a few certain types that really grate on my last nerve. So let's get this started...

1)The lazy bastards: You're sitting there at the front of the bus, and in comes...
a) an elderly person
b) a pregnant woman
c) a person with crutches, knee brace, etc...
Your response? Stare at the floor like you didn't see them so you can continue sitting without looking like a bastard. Don't kid yourself bud, we all saw you look up and quickly look to the floor. I know you saw them, just get your lazy butt up and offer your seat. Sure you may be tired, but it's good for your karma...just get up!
Now I know that it's not always a simple task, and I too am one of the ppl who ask themselves, "is that person really old? is she pregnant, or just a little fat?" I know how touchy of a subject it is, but here is a simple solution...Just get up and stand without saying anything. Better to give your seat up to the chubby chick then to look like the jerk who won't stand for the pregnant lady.

2) The Rosa Parks syndrome: It's 2010 ladies and gentlemen, we are past the days when the front of the bus was reserved. I don't care if your black, white, brown, 4 years old, 7 feet tall, or horizontally challenged, take your butt to the back of the bus!!! You see all those people in line to get on the bus? Yeah those people have somewhere to be too! You parking your inconsiderate ass at the front of the bus so we all have to squeeze past to stand at the back where there's room for at least 10 more people makes me want to throat punch you.

3) The Eager Beavers: Alright
so this is for all of you people standing directly in front of the metro door when it stops. Lets
think about this for a moment. Yes I am fully aware the door stays open for a limited amount of time, but you see all those people inside the metro? They need to get out! Some of us are polite, and would rather not have to push you out of our way just so that we can exit the metro. So to you narcissistic, me first personalities standing in my way when I get out, I am gonna
give you a reason to get out of my way...
The more people that can get off before you get on equals more room for your large ego filled head to find a seat. :)
On a side note, if you are in the metro and everyone behind you is trying to get off, could you kindly step off the metro to make room? I guarantee you that you will be able to get back on before the door shuts. I promise :) If you get locked out I will buy you a consolation cookie and wipe your tears. Also, check out the picture I have provided! Those lovely people at the STM have decided enough is enough and have kindly provided you with bright yellow directions. Please use them.

Although there are many more things I could say about my public transit experiences I feel I have provided the basics of transit etiquette. Use these helpful tips and your fellow travellers will no doubt be less aggravated and therefore nicer to you. Public transit saves the environment, so lets all stand up, move to the back, and get out of the way all in the name of monther earth. Oh and my sanity.

xoxo Jessie