Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Sex Lives of The Minuscule

Oh no guys, it's that time of year again. The return of the fruit fly. I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate those lil buggers! Every year it's the same thing! Summer comes, and you think to yourself "oh yay, lets get some watermelon, have some sangria, and do all sorts of jovial summer activities!" Well watch out, cause every slice of watermelon, every sip of sangria, and every squirt of ketchup on your hotdog is just begging to be preyed upon by those insatiable fruit flies. It's always the same story, "Oh you cleaned your kitchen counters right after cooking? Well you missed a microscopic drop of juice so I'm gonna lay 6,000 eggs on it and take over your kitchen in a matter of hours." Or god forbid you have a few too many glasses of wine and go to bed without rinsing your glass! They'll have the run of the place before you even wake up! No seriously I'm not exaggerating. They are insatiable and their whole lives consist of eating your food and mating on it.

It's not a joke. Those lil dudes eat and have sex more than you can even imagine. Interestingly enough their courtship rituals look quite familiar. 

It starts innocently enough, a short dinner date on your fresh new banana where male courts female. This is followed by drinks at her place (i.e. the juice you spilled on the counter), and then comes the fun part! He warms her up with a little oral action and finally gets to home base when BAM, he's rejected. Sounds like your everyday dating ritual to me. I mean at least she doesn't eat him like some other species. Although to be honest I wish she would, cause lets not forget, this ritual is happening on my food! It would be nice if it ended there, but lucky for you guys I know what happens next. The female fruit flies are an easy bunch. They'll spend the next few hours doing the same thing with multiple other males, while saving the best till last since he'll be most likely to father the children. Considering the life span comparison it sounds eerily close to the dating life a human female. Date many men, save the best for last (i.e marriage).  

Anyways, my plan to cock block those lil jerks hasn't been going so well. You know the drill, fill a glass with juice, cover it with plastic wrap riddled with tiny holes, and they will enter and never return! Unfortunately I made one hole too big and have essentially been providing them with enough glucose to fuel their frequent romps in my food... Dear god, I have promoted a fruit fly orgy in my very kitchen. Ugh, did I mention I hate fruit flies with their easy females and horny male population? Greedy buggers.


Note: Credit for the fruit fly mating behaviour photo to Pearson Education :)
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