Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Restaurant Business

Hey there,

Alright so although my Wii skills have reached unparalleled levels I have realized that along with there being no money in the game, there is a very good chance I will get fat from sitting on the couch all day. Whoever thought that the Wii could be marketed as a video game that will help you get exercise was on crack. Needless to say with a body like mine I cant afford a risk so high as weight gain. Montreal is where the beautiful people live and goddammit I plan to fit in!

Although my sexual appetite combined with a long distance boyfriend was the main reason for my relocation there was also the need for change. Keeping that in mind I recently set out to find a job. Lets all take some time to realize that its been 7 years since i've applied slash interviewed for a job. And when I say I interviewed for a job I mean I walked in was told "your mom is the greatest" and started that week. I realized quite early on that finding a job in this city wouldn't be quite so easy. Luckily for me however I have all the ingredients to ace any interview. Rhianna level looks, Kate Hudson's personality and most obviously, Kanye West's confidence ;)

Sporting my best "I can be professional AND sexy at the same time" look I set off in search for the most perfect job. I told myself, "start small and build up your confidence so you can land your dream job". Unfortunatly for me my electrifying personality worked against me in this quest. I got the first job I walked into and they wanted me to start that night. I know Im charming but really?! Let that be a lesson to all you captivating personalities out there. Lower the greatness when the stakes are low or you may end up working at...wait, can I publicly slander a place on here? Hmm I dont think Ill risk it, lets just call it CP. Yes its a restaurant, HUGE change right? Dont judge.

While Im on the subject of bad restaurants I want to take a second to do something I didnt think I would ever do. Murphys Investments on Prince Edward Island runs the best restaurants in the business. I would like to credit them, along with my favorite boss of all time, Hoss, for ruining me in this business. I cant settle for anything less now! And my experiences here only prove that. This was the most unorganized, unprofessional and unfriendly restaurant I have ever entered! I will fully admit there were times at ESM that I thought I may go crazy, but now I just realize I was spoiled because things were always so damn fun. At least when it was busy I had a great staff around me to help out, or when it was slow I had one to laugh with. But at this place, NO PERSONALITY. I felt like I was working with multiple clones of Keanu Reeves. Minus one cool chick from France and a dude who I talked to about my BSc who was from turkey. Props for being able to stay cool in that environment, I couldnt do it, it was lowering my cool quota.

The boss at this place was the typical french creep. Tight v-neck T-shirts showing his chest hair, tight black work pants big shoes and a cigarette in mouth at all times. Big change from the boss Im used to; short, perfectly coiffed hair, the most amazing yellow pants, form fitting shirt showing an appropriate amount of chest hair, and always perfectly matching shoes ;) I need Hoss to move here so I can have an appropriate boss again. the restaurant business officially has no appeal to me anymore. ESM and staff, thanks for ruining it for me.

Needless to say I ran out of that place like a blue streak...I think they realized they arent seeing me around again. Too bad. Guess Ill be their "one that got away"

xoxo Jess

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Clubbing in Montreal

Hey there,
Okay so after countless hours of hiding out in my half furnished apartment I finally ventured into the unknown underground known to those here as the Metro. It was inevitable that I would have to go it alone one day so when my sister called with an offer of vodka, dancing, cute boys and overall fun I decided it was time to take the plunge. With the help of my super patient boyfriend, who Im pretty sure is starting to realize just how small town I am, I was on my way.

The metro ride from my place to hers not only seemed to take as long as my best friend does to get ready but it also involved two line changes. Line changes only mean one thing to a recovering puck bunny such as myself, and since it isn't hockey season yet you can imagine how confused I was. After two wrong turns and some bad judgement of balance resulting in an awkward embrace with a random I arrived at her place.

After a few pre drinks and alot of french conversation that I caught half of we were off. After being told that we were meeting up with her boyfriends friends I put myself in unavailable mode. After being told his friends consisted of an entire football team, I changed my clothes and put myself in, you can look but you cant touch mode. Seemed like my best "respect the boyfriend and still have fun" choice. Come on girls, even if you are taken you know you still like the thought of a cute boy, especially the football player type, checking out your tight end ;)

Clubs here are nothing like they are at home. I noticed this as soon as we walked up to the door. there were two seperate lineups. After running through a few scenes of entourage in my head I concluded that they must be the "beautiful" and the, for lack of a better term, "unfortunate" line. I followed my sister confident she would lead me to the beautiful line only to find out it is actually guest list and non guest list. Somehow I was on guest list although I still dont see the perk since both lines were just as long and I didnt get any free drinks out of it. As far as Im concerned its a hoax.

Inside it was like most clubs aside from one thing. The girls around here wear exceptionally less clothing than they do on PEI. Im sure many of you ladies would be taken aback by this but I was pumped. Just gives me even more reason to keep hitting the gym so I can flaunt this cute little booty in even less clothing. Id like to once again thank the french for their ever lenient ways. Short skirts, fake eyelashes and ridiculously high heels here I come!

xoxo Jess

PS The other day a random dude on the road told me I was hot. It made me feel great. Does that make me a bad person? ;p